Looking Over Your Shoulder

What was your response to the string of allegations of Harvey Weinstein and the parade of other men who have been exposed for their decades of sexual wrong doing? Was it scorn…or nervousness?

If you said nervousness, you are not alone. Though the famous are the targets at the moment, many men like yourself, in all walks of life, have been assessing their past behavior for vulnerability of exposure. That is a painful place to live — hiding and hoping to never be found out for old or ongoing activity.

Another Way

There is another way. You can set a new course and be set free from the drive behind the behavior and the lies that ensnare.

If the bad press which the accused are getting gives you reason to pause, know that in large part, if they had owned their problem before this moment and dealt with it privately and with integrity, they would not be in this situation.

Sure, there may be some difficult conversations and even repercussions, but having been on both sides of that black door, I can tell you that what you are trying to hold onto is stealing the real, rich life you could have from you, right now.

A Choice

Making the decision to do something about it gives you a measure of control in the trajectory of your life and your legacy.

Leaving it under the rug for someone else to expose or discover can leave you with less than you ever imagined. Just ask Harvey Weinstein.

To learn how we can help you, click here.

1 Comment

  1. Joyce on December 6, 2017 at 4:14 pm

    I did not discover the source of my husband’s avoidance until we had been married over 30 years. Many things in our marriage went very well, but what he claimed was just an “inborn low libido” turned out later to have been a lifetime of porn use, visiting strip clubs “with clients he had to entertain”, phone prostitutes, and possibly other behaviors which our society condones as him “just being a guy.” Meanwhile, I was feeling starved of affection and romantic gestures and physical release. Even to the point that I felt it I was the one with the problem. And in a way I WAS the one with the problem: acceptance of neglect. After our children were raised and gone I had had enough of a sex-less (unless I begged) marriage. I told him I wanted a separation (because divorce was something God hated)….then he confessed to the truth.

    Men…I emplor you to volunteer the fact of your struggle to your wife as soon as you get guidance on how to support her in those first few days and weeks. It WILL hurt her. But if she has to find out herself after years or decades….you are most likely to completely lose her. Learn more about the AVENUE program for women, and have that information ready. You will both need it.

    My husband and I are happily married now. He became a fully committed Christian through this unveiling of his betrayal and my newer healthier boundaries in our relationship. Love is meant to be full and rich, involving spirit, mind and body…but it can never be, when one or both partners continue in selfish, self-pleasing, and self-justifying attitudes and actions.

    If I might pose an analogy for men: How would you feel if the president of the company you work for had approved a salary of $60,000, but your boss paid you $30,000, denying that there was “any more available in the budget”…but himself had pocketed the extra and spent it on fishing, golf,…strip clubs? Would you rather he confess and communicate to you how he planned to become accountable? Or would you rather he “spare your feelings?”…….

    I pray that God will give you wisdom, humility and courage!! God Speed! Joyce