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          There is absolute hope for your future.           

We will help you find the answers you need to make wise decisions for your future, heal the wounds of betrayal and loss, and discover the possibilities to restore your relationship. 

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                    your road map to help, hope & healing

   

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Is Porn The Other Woman?

Your husband’s use of porn can be just a hurtful as an affair. We know. Distrust, anger, insecurity, and fear are common emotions in the face of this kind of betrayal.

Betrayed Vows?

When you experience a betrayal in your marriage, you need a wise, understanding counselor to guide you safely through the raging storms of anger, hurt, bitterness and devastation. We've made this journey. We are that guide.

Need Restoration?

You may be hoping for the restoration of your marriage. This is a real possibility when both you and your husband are involved in attending to your individual recovery, wounds, and healing. This the first step to bring about restoration of marriage.

GET '20 QUESTIONS' LIST ~ FREE! 

 Is this NORMAL?    Do you identify with questions asked by other women in this same circumstance?                                                                               Written by Susan Allen, who has helped women for 20 years deal with these devastating issues.

RED FLAGS

 

IS MY HUSBAND A SEX ADDICT?

Sexual addiction is a real phenomenon. People can get caught up on the word addiction. Bad habit will suffice. A heroin habit can destroy you. So can a porn habit. It usually starts with porn, and that by itself is harmful to the marriage. Porn and the behaviors that accompany its use are very habit forming. Internet porn has an extreme escalation factor on porn addiction. As this habit progresses, the person may move into the arena of physical contact: live shows, prostitutes, one night stands, affairs. No matter which behavior, a person can become hooked on sexual stimuli, sexual encounters and sexual release.

There are pleasurable chemical releases in the brain that occur during sex. God intended those good feelings to create an intimate bond between a husband and wife. However, as it is for all things that are abused and used in ways never intended, those chemicals can bond a person to destructive behavior.

Any woman asking this question is likely aware of some aspect of his sexual behavior, and needs answers.

To be considered addicted, these 4 components must be present:

  1. Compulsivity – out of control despite repeated attempts to stop.
  2. Continuation - despite negative consequences to relationships, work, finances and health.
  3. Preoccupation or Obsession – distracting from relationships, shortchanging careers, stealing time from other pursuits.
  4. Tolerance - escalation of the behavior or progression to more intense behavior needed to get same feeling.

Addiction results from using things in unhealthy ways in an attempt to fill inner emptiness, medicate past pain, deal with stress or fill legitimate, unmet needs.  Sex is used in the same way as a mood-altering drug. Once a person's behavior becomes addictive, one typically can’ t stop this behavior for a lengthy period of time on their own. They will need specific help, support and guidance to allow time for physical healing to do it's work, while restoring the mind and emotions. Ultimately, sex addiction isn't about sex, but way of dealing with life. You're in the right place to get the knowledge and support for yourself and your husband now.

    
WHAT ARE THE SIGNS OF SEXUAL BETRAYAL?

Mostly practiced in secret and easily hidden, if you check off a few of these common symptoms, it’s not a verdict, but there is cause for concern. If his behavior matches many of these, it's certain you need our resources, to help you find answers and understand how to navigate it all.

  1. He is unaccountable for time away from home, works late, travels often, won’t commit to a set time to be home and is defensive about his schedule.
  2. His schedule has changed dramatically, you used to spend time on the weekend together, now he’ s always working or involved in a sport.
  3. He’ s private or secretive about his cell phone, computer, and finances.
  4. You discover he has another cell phone, email account etc. that he didn’t tell you about, and isn’t work related.
  5. He spends a lot of time on the Internet, refuses to use a filtering service, is often on the computer during normal sleep hours, or early morning.
  6. You found unusual receipts, phone numbers, phone bills, credit charges.
  7. He has unpredictable moods, anger or depression, he blames you for his unhappiness, anger and shortcomings.
  8. His sexual interest in you has waned or increased dramatically; during sex he’ s distant and mentally preoccupied, you feel used.
  9. He demands certain sexual performances and gets upset when refused; he wants you to dress or groom a specific way.
  10. He has changed his looks, style, hair, cologne and exercise habits over a short time period.
  11. You have a lot of debt that he is either unconcerned about, or is in total denial about the financial situation.
  12. When questioned, he says you’re crazy, jealous, or have a vivid imagination.
  13. You regularly consider whether he’ s lying to you.

If your husband’s behavior matches with this list, encourage him that help is right here for him at Avenue for Men. No matter what he decides, take care of yourself by reading the Healing Choice series, and connect with the Community.

Avenue works!

Our 'HEALING CHOICE'  journey is comprehensive

The Healing Choice Study:

Our Healing Choice series plus a bible are standard equipment, as the road map for practical help and emotional healing. Written by Susan Allen, whose been where you are. Her experienced work has seen  consistent results over 20 years of women being restored. Women form a firm foundation for a new future and many relationships are healed. Our insights and processes cover everything you're dealing with, even those things you believe no one will understand.

Our Healing Choice Community:

Connect with women on the same journey who understand each other through our Community. Personal and group interaction is critical to your success, even according to therapists involved with individual work. Isolation is your enemy, find strength and encouragement when you share struggles. Your healing will accelerate through daily conversation with other women, introduced through our Community. Many women make new friends and lifelong bonds.

Testimonials

“The Healing Choice Guidebooks gave me more information, answers and solutions than I ever dreamed possible.”

 

"My husband isn’ t interested in changing. I’ m not sure what the future holds for me, but now I’ m not living in fear like before; now I have a plan."

"I just wanted to let you know what an incredible blessing your book has been to me. It has brought comfort and understanding to a really difficult time in my life. I love the phrase "unintended journey"."

"This saved my marriage. I got the tools to deal with the problems, and help me to heal through."

“Gave me strength and redirected my focus on God. Was really like an in depth Bible study.”

"If your husband has hurt you in the most painful way but you want to see your marriage saved/redeemed, this group will give you the tools and comfort.”

Avenue works!

Our 'HEALING CHOICE'  journey is comprehensive

Q and A

Symptoms of Betrayal Trauma

MOST WOMEN EXPERIENCE:

  • Intense feelings of fear since discovering partner’s sexual behaviors, occasionally to often.
  • Feeling violated due to partner’s sexual behaviors.
  • Avoids sexual contact with partner since discovering his behavior.
  • Feels like it happened because she’s not good enough. She scrutinizes her looks and other women in a way she never did prior.
  • Have recurrent thoughts about his actions, randomly triggered by environment, events, associations and memories.
  • After discovering partner’s sexual betrayals, feels increasingly angry in response to partner.

25% of women are still experiencing these symptoms two years after discovery. If she doesn't work through trauma, grief and loss issues, these symptoms can linger and even escalate. We hope you join with us on your unintended journey. Take the next step and order your Healing Choice series now.

We believe you won't regret it.

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