10 questions for good Decisions!


In this journey we’re on, we find ourselves at various crossroads, faced with difficult decisions to make.

If we’re not ready, or afraid, the decision may be ‘I’ll do nothing’ or ‘I’m not going to think about it’. In reality this is a decision, if only for the short term. Our have you made a decision, and later in retrospect feel it wasn’t the right decision? I know I have…on some very weighty matters that affected the course of my life.

In my Healing Choice series, I suggest waiting about six months before making a big decision on the very weighty consideration of divorce, by first giving yourself the gift of time, removing the pressure from within and from external forces. In addition to the big things, there are a lot of smaller decisions that need to be addressed along the way, and in all aspects of our everyday life. Our feelings are a profound driver of hasty decisions, even when concerning life-directing choices. A decision can be made quickly in an emotional moment, but its affects can echo through a lifetime.

How to Make Healthy Decisions

When weighty consequences are attached to our decisions, these steps will bring arm you with godly wisdom and discernment.

These 5 questions can quickly shed light on our thinking in decision making:

1. Am I being led by my feelings…possibly fear, impatience, or anger?
2. Am I being pressured by another person to make this decision?
3. Am I avoiding thinking about the possible short and long-term outcomes and ramifications of my decision?
4. If others followed my example could it cause them harm?
5. Would a secular person consider my actions hypocritical?

The next 5 are how God talks to us. When He gives us direction, He confirms it a few of these ways because we are capable of manipulating one single thing to fit our desires.

6. Bible - Has God spoken about this before in scripture?
7. Holy Spirit - Do I sense Holy Spirit directing me toward this decision?
8. Prayer - Have I prayed and have peace about this decision?
9. Circumstances - Are there circumstances that appear God arranged?
10. Counsel - Have I sought wise counsel from a mature Christian?

If our hearts are set on being Christ-like, our actions will bring honor to God. May all your decisions give you peace and keep you going in the right direction!

If you are in the midst of figuring out which way is up because of sexual betrayal in your most intimate relationship, I encourage you to dive into The Healing Choice Guidebook I, to help you make the best decisions!

1 Comment

  1. Joyce on October 14, 2017 at 2:21 pm

    In response to question #6: In the first 2 years after I learned the reason for my husband’s 15 year resistance to intimacy….I was so angry at God that I almost wanted to spit on the bible. I did not even attempt to seek answers there because I had felt betrayed by my husband AND God. Deep in my heart though, I knew I would come back “home.” I was like a child who in an attempt to “run away from home/God” would shout, stomp, pack the suitcase and slam the door on the way out to the play house.
    Since then, as I chose to give my marriage (only) one more chance, I found so much solace in the stories from the Old Testament. So much of my bible knowledge was from the New Testament, and there were not the detailed, and dramatic instances of women’s struggles. But as I read about the very real situations, and very human women found on those pages, I found “sisters” to walk with, talk with, and receive understanding from…and had a chance to read about the God who reaches out to me constantly and who waits patiently to come to my rescue. So in the blog above, #6 struck home. But I had to make the effort to return to the Word, to find comfort from God. The written Word was the water for my spiritual desert. The campfire for my frozen heart. And it didn’t take any special bible study techniques…just plain old reading; especially, Genesis, Deuteronomy, Hosea, Esther, Samuel, and Kings. The isolation of this kind of journey can leave us painfully obsessed with our own situation, and its so helpful to know we weren’t the only ones who have this kind of pain; we are not, and never were alone. And it’s so nice to have this blog space to continue on in fellowship even after 7 years of this journey. To those precious women who are newer to this….Your Lord is closer than you know. Just as he can count every hair on your head…he has kept count of EVERY tear you have shed. Warm hugs to all of you… Joyce

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