Posts by Susan
Overcome Triggers and Memories
From my own experience and the women I’ve helped over the years, I’ve found that two of the most difficult things for a woman who has been betrayed is her intentional revisiting of the memories of his betrayals, and the triggers that bring up those same memories when she least expects it. Regardless of how these things are brought to mind, they set off a cascade of pain and downward spiral that can take over her days.
Read MoreThe Healing Power of Gratitude
What could happen if we made each day a day of thanks-giving? What if we spent time to tell God the things we are so thankful for, in equal proportion to asking Him for our needs to be met? What would it change? What could be made possible? When we’re asking, we’re focusing on what…
Read MoreWhy I Stayed and Restored Our Marriage
I want to share one woman’s story of dealing with her husband’s betrayals. The first thing you’ll find was that this wasn’t a straight path to recovery. Not for his healing and not for hers. But one ingredient is absolutely required for true restoration of the marriage to happen. Both husband and wife have to…
Read MoreIs He Being Unfaithful?
Most warning signs that a man is having an affair with another woman are not as obvious as the tell-tale lipstick on the collar. A pattern of behavioral changes are often red flags that might point to infidelity. You may observe subtle changes. He may seem aloof. A combination of sudden uncharacteristic changes in his…
Read MoreSomeone You Know Needs This
When faced with the devastation and loss from sexual betrayal, a woman needs solid information to sort out questions and decision points, and it is important to have others to talk to that really understand. That is exactly what our Healing Choice phone groups provide. We understand, because we’ve been there. We’ve made this journey;…
Read MoreGossip
Gossip In our Healing Choice Groups for women, I am so heartened and proud of how women care for each other. We begin each new group introducing our Group Courtesies. Among other things, each woman agrees on principles for maintaining confidentiality — respecting each other’s stories and circumstances. The relationships and friendships I’ve witnessed being…
Read MoreInvisible Woman
Invisible Woman Are your instincts telling you things are not right in your marriage? Are you aware your spouse used porn before marriage, but says he no longer does? Do you doubt his trustworthiness? In many relationships, porn was ever present in the man’s life, long before he knew you. Men don’t typically disclose that…
Read MoreShame Revisited
Shame Revisited For many of you who have gone through an Unintended Journey or Healing Choice restoration group, you already confronted and dismissed shame for what it is; a dark debilitating lie that, left unexamined, has the power to silence and cripple. Precious Jewels of Friendship When we discover that place of connectedness and vulnerability…
Read MoreIt’s Trauma. Not Your Fault.
It’s Trauma. It’s not your fault. If you’ve suffered sexual betrayal in your closest relationship, you’ve lived the experience of deep trauma from that wound, and the effects and responses reverberate through most aspects of your life. You know that, I know that. old labels Now the counseling community is beginning to understand that in…
Read More10 questions for good Decisions!
In this journey we’re on, we find ourselves at various crossroads, faced with difficult decisions to make. If we’re not ready, or afraid, the decision may be ‘I’ll do nothing’ or ‘I’m not going to think about it’. In reality this is a decision, if only for the short term. Our have you made a…
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